Can anyone stop Rafael Nadal from winning ANOTHER French Open title?

In short... no. Thanks for reading.
This is to those people who lambaste me for doing non-sporty blogs. Not mentioning names (Denny boi), we know who you are!

"Why you never serious?" asked the great philosophiser that is Jens.
Ok. In all seriousness, Jens, there are players who can beat Rafa in the upcoming Roland Garros, but I honestly do not believe anyone will.
The man has lost twice there since 2005. TWICE! Robin Soderling in 2009 and Novak Djokovic in 2015. Every single other time he has played there, since the age of 18, he has won the thing!

The key to beating Rafa is to be strong off both wings, move well, take the ball earlier than he does, get lots of free points on serve and you have to have very high fitness levels.
The best example of this, bar the serve, would be a Novak Djokovic or a Nikolay Davydenko, that match-fixing Russian, bless him.

But, I shall endeavour to give satisfaction, or at least attempt it, and provide a list of the players who could, at least, trouble the 10-time French Open champion.

1) Novak Djokovic: 
Now I know what you are thinking, if you follow tennis, that is.
The Serb is having, by his lofty standards, a wretched season. Only recently has he improved from a 50% win record to post 10 wins and 7 losses in 2018. Only once has he made it to a quarter final this year, and that was last week in Rome.
But he is one of the chosen... two... who have tamed El Matador and he has a winning record against him - precious few can say that.
He ran him pretty close in the Italian capital last week and he looks as if he is coming into form. Being ranked outside the top 20, he could face Rafa in round 3. I still feel it is too soon for the former world number one and I am not sure he can go toe-to-toe with the Spaniard - but then again, who can?

2) Dominic Thiem:
The Austrian hasn't had his best clay court season but he did beat Nadal in Madrid, albeit the conditions are quicker and less favourable to the veteran there than they are at Roland Garros.
He moves well, is a huge hitter and his best surface is clay. He has beaten Rafa 3 times before on the dirt and he has the ability to outhit the Spaniard, but whether he can do it in a best of five set much is questionable.
This could be another quarter final clash between the two, but I believe Thiem will try to go for too much, as he did when he was thrashed by Rafa in the French Open semi-final last year, and he will get picked off.

3) Alexander Zverev:
Despite having a 0-5 record against Nadal, the 21-year-old Sascha has all the weapons to tame the bull, but he still is yet to do it. In their first ever meeting, when Zverev was 19, he missed a sitter of a match point and Rafa came back and won.
At last year's Australian Open, Zverev took him to five sets, with his serve, power and bruising backhand doing all sorts of damage on the day - but it wasn't enough.
The German is yet to progress to a quarter final of a slam and as the number two seed he will only get another crack of the whip if he makes it to the final, something I do not think he will do. His form, however, is superb. He is now number one in the ATP race and had been on a 13-match winning streak on clay, before losing in the Rome final to Nadal. The world number 3 did have a 3-1 lead in the final set but Rafa, shock!, stormed back to win.
Zverev, for me, is a player that needs to get one win over Rafa and then I believe he could achieve many more. He needs to hug that baseline though or he has no chance.

4) Hyeon Chung:
Not many may choose this guy, but I believe he has the tools to trouble Nadal, if not at Roland Garros, then in the years to come.
Chung hasn't kicked on as much as I would have liked after his heroics in Australia, but he has been unlucky with injuries too.
His court coverage is fantastic, his fitness is very impressive, he is so strong in rallies, he can take the ball early and he can beat big players on the biggest stages (Novak in straights Down Under).
This guy could be a bad match up for Rafa, but again, Chung has been injured of late, so that doesn't bode well.

5) Fabio Fognini:
When the Italian is firing on all cylinders, he can be a match for anyone. He has beaten Nadal on clay and most of the time he runs him close in defeat. Fabio came from two sets down to conquer Rafa in the US open three years ago. However, a lot has changed since then and Fognini has known nothing but defeat against the Spaniard from then on. I do not think he can pull his genius off for three sets, but he has a puncher's chance.

(6) Nicolas Jarry: 
I am pretty sure nobody will be talking about this guy but if you have seen him play on the clay this year, you will see he has a huge game off of the forehand and backhand. His serve is a weapon and he doesn't move like a tree. The unseeded 22-year-old could be another Soderling or a Lukas Rosol, but probably not. Watch out for this giant in the future though.

Footnote: Andy Murray is injured, Stan Wawrinka is on the comeback trail and it is unlikely that Babolat will use faster tennis balls like they did in 2011, when Rafa almost lost in round one to Big John Isner.

Here is my prediction. Rafa will win his 11th French Open but he will drop a set! Considering last year the soon-to-be 32-year-old did not, that is a big claim...

Unintended consequences...

Evidence. Independent investigations. Congressional approval. Parliamentary votes.
All these things have been circumvented, bypassed or ignored when the U.S, the UK and France bombed Syria earlier today.
UN weapons investigators were heading to Damascus this weekend to carry out a review into whether or not the chemical weapon attack was carried about by Bashar al-Assad.
But let's forget about that, trust the Western leaders on their 'word' and their 'confidence' that they had evidence to say Assad was behind the attack, that killed at least 70 people earlier this week. This is awful, let's get that clear. However, this whole episode fills me with dread. Russia has already said that 'there will be consequences' for these airstrikes.
What do we want to do? Start WW3? What happens if a Russian plane gets shot down by a U.S one, or vice versa?
Don't get me wrong though, Assad is a tyrant and a despot. But the Chilcott Report detailed how horrific mistakes were made in Iraq and Libya was also an unmitigated disaster.
So when Assad's army was on the verge of wiping out ISIS in Douma, with the help of Russia, why would he do something like this? Because he is a tyrant and a despot? Perhaps, but it makes no strategic sense to then do this, because, just like last year's attack on Syria, much of the world condemns Assad and threatens the country with airstrikes.
US defence secretary Jim Mattis told reporters in February that there is 'no evidence' of the use of the chemical weapon Sarin, from last April's chemical weapons attack.
But here we go again, gallivanting about into a war that could have horrific, unintended consequences.
The CIA and the FBI, during Barack Obama's presidency, backed rebel groups in the Middle East, THAT FOUGHT AGAINST EACH OTHER. If that doesn't show you how myopic the US's foreign policy position is on this, then I am not sure what will. But it appears that Theresa May and Emmanuel Macron are no different.
In 2016, a report said that ISIS had used chemical weapons at least 52 times in Syria and Iraq and that the rebels had their own chemical weapons facility in Eastern Ghouta.
Was this a false flag? I don't know. Should we do an independent investigation to get evidence? YES!
People in Syria are dying and a lot more may die because of these airstrikes. This will lead to more refugees too.
Never fear though, the so-called 'Resistance' in America, which is supposed to oppose Donald Trump are... SAYING HE SHOULD GO FURTHER TO STOP PUTIN.
Minority leader of the U.S House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, tweeted to "Ultimately hold Putin accountable for the bloodshed he has enabled."
I thought the left were the anti-war party. Well this shows the Democrats are not.
But well said Jeremy Corbyn for not sounding the war drums like the rest, that darn communist and Russian appeaser...(sarcasm).
This is a war crime, it is illegal, it is unconstitutional, it is unjust and I fear it could get worse.
The U.S apparently took in 11 Syrian refugees in 2018, so I am not sure this is being done for humanitarian reasons for the Syrian people.

Ed Byrne: 'Sachsgate' prank phone call negatively changed the face of TV comedy

Mock the Week star Ed Byrne says the infamous ‘Sachsgate’ prank phone call by Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand negatively changed the face of TV comedy.

In 2008, Ross was a guest on Brand’s BBC Radio 2 show, where the pair left a voicemail on beloved Fawlty Towers actor Andrew Sachs’ answerphone, making lewd and sexual remarks about his granddaughter.

Although Brand resigned and Ross was suspended without pay, the two protagonists’ careers remain largely unscathed.

That, according to Byrne, cannot be said for the BBC, who, along with TV comedy producers, have restricted what comedians can and cannot say ever since the scandal.                    
           

 “Around the whole Jonathan Ross/Russell Brand incident, comedy had to conform to a lot of different forms of compliance, including Mock the Week,” he said. 

“There was a much stricter view on things and since then everything was looked at more carefully across TV in general. It did have a limiting effect on what you could and could not say.

“It had a negative impact on TV comedy as there was increased control in terms of watching what you had to say.”

TV host James Corden was recently lambasted for his churlish jokes over the Harvey Weinstein scandal, bringing up the age old question, ‘Where is the line for comedians?’

“The joke has to be really good when covering controversial topics. An audience can sometimes forgive you if you do something politically questionable if it is utterly hilarious,” said Byrne, who is currently on the road with his Spoiler Alert tour.

“If it is just a hack joke that it wasn’t worth bringing up the subject, then people are less inclined to give it a pass.

“Frankie Boyle is a perfect example of someone who can make a joke and you can hate yourself for laughing at it. But because it is so funny but you don’t care that it is wrong.

“Everyone has their own line personally. For many it is not the subject material, it is how you handle it.

“In theory nothing should be off the table, no subject should not be talked about but it is how sensitively you go about it and whether or not you take humour from something without taking the piss out of it.

“Making a joke that concerns a subject is not the same thing as mocking that subject.

“Paedophilia would be a classic example. It is the most horrible, shocking and stomach churning topic that there is. But to say there aren’t a bunch of jokes that people are doing concerning it would be a lie.

“It also depends on the comedian and the audience. Generally however, that is not a furrow that I plough, I am not someone that is considered a shocking comic.”

The Last Jedi: A real headscratcher! (Spoilers)

Comrades, brothers in arms, sisters in... legs? May I invite you to my second ever film review blog (Nobody cares).
After dipping my toe into these tenebrous waters for the Force Awakens, something I took a smidgen of satisfaction from before racing off into the cosy confines of sport and other rambling things, here goes the follow up.
So, The Last Jedi. If the Force Awakens was a carbon copy of the New Hope, this is a polar opposite.
Perhaps irked by the safeness of its predecessor, director Rian Johnson has gone out of his way to be as ambitious, ballsy and unpredictable as possible. To quote Luke: "This isn't going to go the way you think."
When the credits rolled, my first thought was, 'Huh, odd.' Followed by a 'Hmm', and finished with a 'Crikey.' I wouldn't have been able to do a review then as, to me at the time, it was ineffable. But now I have pondered, enjoyed an apple and a crisp sandwich, and I am ready to disappoint you all.
So, for me the Kylo Ren is great in this once again. He is as complex and well-thought out a character as you could hope to imagine. The fight scenes are an improvement on the last, although still not amazing, and the special effects are better still.
Seeing Yoda again was cool. Kylo and Rey's back and forth from across the galaxy was something new and creative.
But. And it is a BUT so vast and so all consuming, that it cannot lie, something that brothers cannot deny.
It really leaves you with a lot of unanswered questions and unsatisfying takeaways.
Finn and his new pal Rose end up almost being redundant apart from introducing us to a few swanky places.
To paraphrase Frankie Boyle wh
en describing Darth Vader, "Phasma, you look like a big silver dildo."
They have an endless, elongated chase with the big ship thingy with the annoying purple haired woman, who actually ends up doing something awesome and going lightspeedy on the First Order.
Now to Supreme Leader Snoke. An intriguing but woefully under explored character - we know nothing about him. Where he came from? Who is he? Does he like sit down showers and appletiser? THESE QUESTIONS NEED TO BE ANSWERED.
He is dead before you can say 'Where the feck did Leia get force powers from when she was about to become a popsicle like Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 and why does she look like she's gliding through the ducking matrix?'
I actually guffawed at that bit in the cinema and I was not the only one.
The huge hype of Luke for me was a let down. This messiah-like character admitted to falling in love with his own legend and being a coward. However, I do think he was a bit powderpuff at times in the original films but he is anything but that here.
Kylo's words of: "Let the past die, kill it if you have to. It's the only way to become who you're meant to be," stuck in my mind for an important reason.
I have never been a massive Star Wars fan, I mean it is nothing on Lord of the Rings, FACT, but I think many die hard fans will be let down as it sort of shatters the Jedi image.
For them, this film has wiped the slate clean and that is a bad thing. Anywho, I digress ever so slightly.
The fact that Kylo and Rey, who are relative novices in terms of kick-assery, are now like the two head honchos seems a bit nuts.
I reckon Anthony Joshua could have a say and try and unify the Jedi heavyweight division with a unification bout.
There was just so much going on it was hard to keep up. It had a quantity over quality feel, especially with the drawn out length of the film.
For me I would give it a 5.553 out of 10. I liked bits but overall it did not live up to the hype at all but I will definitely watch the next one, just so I can put the four people who will read this through more agony.

Lewis Moody: Tom Croft was a 'unique' talent

Leicester Tigers and former England forward Tom Croft has been hailed as a 'unique' talent by his old teammate Lewis Moody.
The 32-year-old was forced to retire on medical grounds this week, ending a glittering career which included playing 40 times for England, five tests for the British and Irish Lions and 173 appearances for his beloved club.
And from one flanker to another, Mad Dog Moody, who also had his fair share of injuries, paid tribute to Croft, describing him as a player like none other.
"He was a very special player and a unique talent," he said.
"He was like none other. His athletic ability, the core strength he had, the speed, the balance, he was phenomenal.
"Tom was my player of the 2009 British and Irish Lions tour. It was a wonderful sight seeing a giant of a man burn a backline with ease. I remember when he left the French team for dead a few years ago, that was incredible."
Croft's last competitive game was back in March and Moody was quick to praise the resilience of his former Leicester Tiger during his injury-hit career.
"There is nothing more annoying than not being able to do the things you love because of injury," he said.
"It takes huge mental resilience to keep on going and keep overcoming every setback and Tom had that. He had a tonne of injuries but he kept coming back, it is just such a shame that he has been hampered by so many setbacks in recent years.
"All I can say is that it was a pleasure to play with him. He loved the game and he played with a smile, although I remember him not smiling as much through training.
"I am not sure if he has mentioned this but I know he did dance at school so maybe he put some of his athletic ability down to that. I wish him the best."

Lewis Moody: Level of criticism of England is 'unwarranted'

Former England captain Lewis Moody says that the criticism levelled at Eddie Jones' side is unwarranted as any other side would 'dream' of achieving their results.
Pundits and the media alike poured scorn on England's win over Argentina on Saturday, branding them uninspiring, laboured and not befitting of the second ranked team in the world.
But Mad Dog Moody was quick to point to the fact that England achieved a world-record equalling run of 18 test wins, a first Grand Slam since 2003 and a series whitewash of Australia in their own backyard.
This, coupled with not being able to call on Owen Farrell, Maro Itoje and Billy Vunipola against the Pumas, was enough evidence to suggest the condemnation was over the top, according to the former flanker.
"I have never understood the criticism of this current English team. They are striving for greatness and their record under Eddie Jones is phenomenal - any other team would dream of having that record," he said.
"They have lost just once during his tenure. They are building a team with a world-class core that is similar to the 2003 side.
"They went from calamity in the World Cup to number two in the world. We should look on this more positively. The media's criticism is just unwarranted when you look at that record.
"We have strength in depth in every position. There is an embarrassment of riches and it is a very exciting time.
"Clive Woodward said it is about winning and ultimately that is right. Sure the performance was not pretty against Argentina but they are a good side, England had key players missing and they were a bit rusty.
"Expectations are certainly growing but there should be less negativity in my opinion."

India: A pasty white man's tale

A wise man by the name of Robert Herrick once wrote: "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still a-flying and this same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying."

So when my dear friend Dipak (aka The D) kindly invited me to his Indian wedding in the country's western most state in Gujarat back in February, I ran to my computer, loaded up Youtube and put on Starship's classic, 'Nothing's going to stop us now."

This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I was going to climb every mountain (with the help of a cable car as my knees are knackered), ford every stream (preferably with suitable footwear as I have a growing collection of holey shoes), follow Dipak's rainbow, with a little bit of Jim Beam. I kid, I hate that ass gravy.

So the whitest man to ever set foot in India *these claims cannot be verified and may not hold up in a court of law* left the shores of Blighty alongside my gal pal Suzy, a wonderful and vivacious creature but one that is a selfish git for being so tanned, into Asia for the first time.

Photo from Tahuko.com

Part 1: D's wedding!
After two flights over the course of nearly 20 hours, zombie one and zombie two were picked up at Bhuj Airport at around 8am and were taken to our accommodation.

One ever so slight difference between back home and here was the fact that cows chose to take over the roads. They sat or stood, without a care in the world, on busy roads as cars, motorbikes and trucks weaved their way in and out, so as to not hit these sacred creatures. No chance of a beef burger here then.

Also, motorists do not care for lanes, right of way, using the car horn sparingly or even driving on the right side of the road! It was brilliant but also scary to watch.  The camels, pigs, dogs, goats and locals went about their day, with the hooter orchestra playing to their heart's content. 

We were unfortunately too wiped to join in the Henna painting partay but after a hearty sleep, we were ready for the evening event known as Sanjhi, where we enjoyed very loud music, dancing, singing from attendees, who together made up Joseph's technicolour dreamcoat.

The place was awash with colour, vibrancy and celebration - not a bad way to dip our toes in the local water.

Next morning it was the Mandvo, a pre-wedding ceremony where Hindu traditions and rituals are carried out under a wooden canopy called a mandap. Despite not having the foggiest idea what was going on, witnessing something so different was fascinating to see.

Then that night came an event I do not think I will ever forget. A 30-strong party of Dipak's family took part in a procession through the village, banging drums as we went, attracting the attention of hundreds of excited onlookers. 

This was Pholiku, where Dipak, flanked by me acting as some sort of bodyguard, would visit several temples and carry out prayers. When he was doing this I had to stay by his side, carrying his coconut and sword when inside each temple, one of which had several thousand people turn and stare at us in glee, it was nuts but quite the honour!

And finally on the third day, we were treated to the wedding itself. We were picked up before 6am to be kitted out in a sari for Suzy and for me a tailor-made sherwani, which I can keep!

She looked like the visible personification of absolute perfection, to quote Oscar Wilde, whereas I looked... well you can be the judge of that!

What followed was hours of a carnival like parade, a bus journey to the village of Dipak's wife-to-be, dancing, drums, rituals and music, before the bride Preety gave tearful goodbyes to her village in a very moving moment.

The whole thing was exhausting but incredible. It really is another world, one with no alcohol which was a nice change to be honest.

A land that dishes out a sensory overload, where you see, hear, touch, taste (I am a massive lightweight on spice but somehow survived) and smell (good and bad) more than you could ever imagine. 

We were welcomed as part of the family, we were treated like celebrities by locals, all eager to get a glance of these strange and white intrepid adventurers and I was even asked for an autograph. I acquiesced to his plea, how could I disappoint a fan? 

Part 2: The golden... square?
After the thrills and spills of the wedding, Suzy and I flew to Delhi and boy were we in for a shock. The city runs on chaos. I think the Joker would like it.

To be frank, I was not a big fan of Delhi with its 12+million people, brutal humidity, non-stop badgering in terms of transport and people asking for selfies. 

You see wealth and poverty intermingled in a way you cannot really comprehend. Women are still not seen in the same way as men which annoys me no end.

17th century architectural feats mixed with countless beggars who live and die on the slum-ridden streets. 

We also got Delhi belly, but I won't expand on this. I mean, who wants to read about back-end troubles, doing a fecal Jackson Pollack (to quote comedian Greg Davies), squatting into little holes in the ground with flies flitting about. As I say, I won't expand on this.

I am probably coming across as spoilt but it is a massive culture shock. The monuments were pretty spectacular but the city was not and I was glad to get away and head to Agra and the Taj Mahal.

A four hour coach ride took us to the city to see one of the most famous monuments of them all. As we got our tuk-tuk ride to the hotel, I got a glimpse of it and my jaw felt like it came apart from my face. 

Luxury 5-star hotel, that we didn't stay at...

I was transfixed. It was one of the most breathtaking and majestic sites I had ever seen. 

Everyone knows it is one of the seven wonders of the world but not many will know that the ivory-white marble mausoleum  was commissioned in 1632 by the Mughal emperor Shah Jahan to house the tomb of his favourite wife, Mumtaz Mahal.

Together they had more than 10 children but to learn that this wonder was just a husband's way of placing her in special honour was just barmy. 

The following day we were supposed to head to Pushkar, a very religious, remote and picturesque lakeside town in Rajasthan, a few hundred kilometres away.

As we waited for our train, we got acquainted with 'India time'. Our 7.30am train ended up being a tad late, six hours to be precise.

Thankfully a German couple (we didn't mention the war!) called Julia and Andreas came to our rescue and we shared a cab ride, which ended up being cheaper than the train.

Some say people are still waiting for the Zirayat Express, who knows.

Here we got a much needed break from the constant selfie requests and the masses for a day or so.

It started on a sour note however as we encountered a dose of 'holy' extortion.

Just as we reached the lake, we were separated by two so-called brahman, who led us to the edge, gave us flowers, a bit of face paint, wished our family the best and ended up ambushing us out of 2,500 Rupees.

Apart from that frustrating episode, Pushkar was my favourite stop. The markets, where we enjoyed a bit of haggling (Suzy with a bit more success than myself), monkeys, camel rides, temples and no rear-end problems, were a delight!

Then we had two nights in Jaipur, which was pretty manic as well but the Amber Fort in particular was spectacular.

And to round it all off we headed back to Delhi for one last sightseeing trip to the exquisite Lotus temple and a final foray with an Indian meal - we did not do well with that one. 

Throughout the 10 days I was lucky enough to spend in India, I have been mulling over just how to describe what it is like.

Epigram extraordinaire Mark Twain said the country was the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.

I however possess an infinitesimal amount of writing ability compared to the great man, hence my current predicament of not delivering a satisfactory final verdict. 

I cannot think of a felicitous way of summing up India. It is like nothing I have ever seen or may ever see. Nothing really happens linearly, everything goes on at 110mph and you get swept up in it all.

Although it has its fair share of criticisms, I am so grateful that I was able to do this, for Dipak's hospitality, that Suzy rescued me from bunging around the place on ma todd and experiencing a whole new world. 

I have the travel bug even more now. Despite just finishing one epic journey (which unfortunately made me look only slightly less vanilla ice cream looking), I think I am quite ready for another adventure!